You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Randomize
