I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
