I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
