Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
