Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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