Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
