a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
