I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
either way he was missing a nipple.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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