you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
