He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize