That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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