Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
