her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
