Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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