I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
