That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
