Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
