fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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