So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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