I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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