I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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