three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
