after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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