i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
