My first STD was from a foam party
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.