I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
