I puked a lego.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
