Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
