My first STD was from a foam party
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
