Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
