my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
