woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
