While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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