Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I love having hate sex.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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