You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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