I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize