So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize