i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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