Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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