She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
