4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
