If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you win again, gameday.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
