yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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