I don't think brook has ever known best
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
