i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
