Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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