Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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