he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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