After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
