he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
