two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
