you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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