He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
