Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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