i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
