p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
