is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
