She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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