I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
