Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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